“My Dad hates God”

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A few months ago I ran into one of my ex-witnessing partners at Costco.  We talked for over an hour.  At one point the topic of the lost and Calvinism came up… because I brought up the subject of course.  I asked him if he was still a Calvinist, and he said he was.

The last time I spoke with him his father was not a believer.  I asked him, “Is your dad still an unbeliever?”

He said “Yes.”


I asked, “Why?” 

He paused for a moment and then said, “My father hates God and rejects Him.”

Hmmm…something isn’t adding up here.

Christ didn’t die for you

I said, “If your father continues to reject Christ until the day he dies that proves only one thing… Christ never died for your Father… so thats why your father is going to hell.  People go to hell because God didn’t die for them.”

He paused for a moment and basically repeated what he said, “People go to hell because they hate God and reject Him.  My father hates God and rejects Him.”

I responded “I know as a Calvinist you believe Christ died only for the elect, only for some people, not most people.  He did this because He eternally loves the elect, and doesn’t eternally love the unelect.  If your father is not one of the elect then its not because of anything your father has done, such as hating God as you say, its because Christ didn’t love him enough to die for him.  God made this decision before your father was born.  While its true your dad hates God, thats not why he is going to hell if Calvinism is true.” 

I continued, “Do you interpret Romans 9 as saying before Esau did anything good or bad God hated him?”   He said “Yes.”

“Ok then, does it matter if Esau hated God?”  My friend stared at me… it was almost as if he were …thinking… which is something good to see Calvinists do.

I continued, “God already hated Esau first!  Calvinism teaches before the universe was created God decided who He will hate and who He will eternally love.  Esau’s hatred of God makes no difference to God, and your father’s hatred of God makes no difference to God either.  God has already decided the fate of Esau and your father!  What Esau and your father do will not change what God has ALREADY DECIDED before they were born!”

“God has carried out this decision by refusing to die on the cross for Esau and your father.  Christ never died for them in the first place!  They aren’t rejecting salvation because salvation is not mean’t for them!”

You aren’t invited!

My Calvinist friend looked confused, and he should be since Calvinism is a convoluted mess.  Contradictions in a doctrine is a clear sign something is not true and those ideas should be discarded.

“Lets say I’m having a party and your not invited.  I don’t love you enough to invite you.  After the invitation is sent out I find out you hate me.  I really don’t care if you hate me because I already hated you before you were born, which is why I never invited you to the party.  I don’t want you at the party!  Are you rejecting my invitation because you hate me?  Of course not!  I NEVER INVITED YOU!  You cannot reject an invitation I have never extended to you!”

Calvinists like to say people go to hell because unbelievers reject God, but thats not what Calvinists really believe.  Calvinists believe God rejected the unelect before the foundation of the world.  An unbelievers sin has nothing to do with why God rejects them.  Calvinists believe God hated Esau BEFORE he did anything good or bad!

Sovereignty is not changed by men

I continued, “If God is truly ‘sovereign”, as Calvinists define that term, then is God moved by what men do?  Does it matter to God if men hate God or love God or are indifferent?  God has already decided the fate of all and He will do what He will do.  The idea God isn’t moved by what men do is evidenced by the fact that some people are saved.  Apparently God ignored their hatred of Him in those cases right?”  My friend finally agreed with that.  “Ok, this proves that what men do have no effect on God so stop telling me your father isn’t saved because he hates God!  God can save a sinner when He feels like it or He can damn them when He feels like it.  God could ignore your father’s hatred if He decides to!

My friend didn’t realize that his agreement was a betrayal of his beliefs about Calvinism, and about how illogical and irrational his beliefs are.  The whole discussion bewildered me.  How could a Christian who is called to “rightly divide the word of truth” be ok with ideas that do not rightly divide the word of truth?  Where does it say in the bible that contradictions are true?

Bad explanations abound

After many seconds of silence he finally stammered back with, “My father… is going to hell because he hates God… I don’t know if I can explain it any better than that.”

I can explain it better… Calvinism should be discarded!

The truth is the bible teaches God loves all eternally and because of that love God used His sovereign Will to predestine a plan.  His plan is to send His Son to die for all so that anyone who believes in Him will have everlasting life through the sacrifice of Himself on the cross.  God has ordained that anyone who rejects Him will go to hell because they did not believe in God’s plan of salvation.  In short, God saves anyone who will come to Him by faith and will reject those who do not.  God does not pick and choose arbitrarily who goes to heaven and hell.  The bible says Christ tasted death for every man on the cross, He draws all men to Himself (John 12), and He wants all to come to a knowledge of the truth.

Having said all of this my friend was correct about one thing, his dad will go to hell if he continues to reject God because God is truly offering him the free gift of salvation.  Unfortunately my friend has contradictory ideas about the god he serves, such as the notion that Christ died on the cross for some people, not all.  Deception is at its peak when contradictions are accepted as truth, instead of discarded as lies.

While my Calvinist friend repeated his original assertion I took his stammering as a good sign.  Its an indication that his thoughts on Calvinism are colliding with sound reason and logic.  Its as if the stronghold that Calvinism has on his mind is being hammered on by truth.  Its difficult to be honest and at the same time believe in a doctrine that causes so much confusion about the God you serve.

Hopefully one day he may realize its not his own finite understanding of an infinite God thats the problem, its a man-made doctrinal filter called Calvinism thats the problem.

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  1. Usagi says:

    Pointed and accurate on every point.

    Put me in the camp of feeling 100% that the teachings of Calvinism are every bit as dangerous as Hinduism, Islam, or any other false religion.

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